Foodstamps For Pets? Goldfish!. . .musing & poem

So foodstamps for pets?  Hmm. . .now while I would normally find humor in this (and only if this were a much stable economy) I actually sympathize.  According to Bloomberg, ‘foodstamps for pets’ is currently in circulation.  While many or most might frown on the idea because it will now cost the taxpayer that much more money, it’s actually a good idea.

 

How, one or you might ask?

 

Well consider the housing market. . .and I don’t give a damn how much the President claims the housing market is stabilizing because it isn’t. . .I have seen more For Sale and For Lease signs sign-stamped on the fronts of lawns more than I’ve seen Going Out Of Business or Business Closed signs stamped on glass windows! 

 

Okay, back to the housing market. . .

 

While many homeowners were or are making their move into apartments and rentals, more and more pets have or are being left behind because their owners can or could no longer afford to feed them as many or most homeowners can barely afford to feed themselves much less their families.  While the cost of food keeps going up and up, so is pet food.  I look at this ‘foodstamp for pets’ as a strategic move as it is just that. . .‘Strategic’ because it will allow owners the opportunity(ies) to keep their pets instead of abandoning them or dropping them off at the local pound.

 

Does that make Sense?  I think it does, only if you’re a pet owner.  But then again if you’re not a pet owner, you will find this idea utterly Senseless and costly.

 

Damn, can’t win for losing!  Enjoy my poem. . .

 

**********

 

GoldFish

 

I woke up one morning

to an empty place with

an abundance of space

for the life of me I could not fill. 

 

So these walls suddenly became

the material, the immaterial

the existent, the non-existent;

I was buried within.

 

Yet, no one knew or cared

to consider me lost

no flyers, no milk cartons, no billboards

not a trace of my importance existed.

 

I was dead

 

Or was I?

 

This is how it starts:

 

She yells, you yell.

She threatens to leave, you leave.

She takes the dog, you take the cat.

She calls a lawyer, you represent yourself.

 

Then, the dog runs away with the cat

‘cause it considered you two morons.

And her lawyer screws the hell out of you

because you like screwing women.

 

And that’s how it ends.

 

Now back to these walls.

 

I’m alive again.

 

My space needs a woman’s touch

then I remembered, ‘No it doesn’t,

it needs a man’s touch, goddamnit!’

so I leave these walls blank.

 

I take a ride out to IKEA

since every single divorced man tends to shop there

sorting through colors, patterns, lamps,

things square and oval and all around boring.

 

But after two hours of trying to recover things lost,

things I care not to buy, I say ‘Fuck it!’

and storm out the store to the store next door

and buy what every man should buy after a divorce:

 

A goldfish.

(pub2011 in DS)

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